Apple Warranty Service treated me like a valued customer today, through my local Genius Bar.

My 10-month old MacBook was unused for at least a week, and had discharged the battery completely to 0% charge. Unfortunately, something happened to that caused the battery to be "Not Charging" no matter what I did; clear SMC power manager, zap PRAM, etc.

This experience is common; use Google. The battery is dead. No resurrection possible, dead. However, almost everyone under warranty gets a free battery replacement.

2:04 PM - Entered the Apple Store, made an appointment for the Apple Genius at 4:15 PM.
2:07 PM - walked to the back of the store
2:09 PM - approached by an orange-shirt (facilitator). He had me "check in," letting them know I was ready when they were.
2:12 PM - Genius John was serving me, listening with respect to my experience description. He fired up my MacBook, confirmed that the status was "Not Charging." He looked up my Serial number using a barcode scanner to verify the machine was under warranty. He then grabbed a replacement battery. I signed one paper that said if the repair part is not really broken when received in Cupertino, they can send me a bill for $100.
2:35 PM - browsed my way out of the store.

I noted that this battery, although new (1 charge cycle), was a specially-packed brown-box battery from behind the counter, not an off-the-shelf new retail battery.